he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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