she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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