omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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