one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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