I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
