You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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