My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize