Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
