Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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