Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
