So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize