dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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