non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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