I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
