The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
false alarm. still invincible.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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