You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
