he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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