I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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