I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
