How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
