the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize