I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
