Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I believe in your delicious
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
