Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
