Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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