Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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