You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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