Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
