why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
