how can u be prego again
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
