He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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