Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
