We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
we're so committed to being not committed
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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