Don't you send me to vm
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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