Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
