on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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