Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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