the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
