Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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