I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
