1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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