I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
