Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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