Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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