He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize