sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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