youre lurking in front of me
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
