I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
