sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
