Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
