life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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