you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
