Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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