oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
