Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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