I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize