Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
