you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
