I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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