I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
