I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i came on her dog
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
