I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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