are you still at the devil's house?
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
