So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
