I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
