Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
