It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
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