My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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