At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
