Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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